My vulnerable teen daughter’s school indoctrinated her to become boy behind my back – now I’m fighting to change law
IT has to be most parents‘ idea of a nightmare.
Their impressionable child being given medical treatment that will change the course of their lives for ever — without the consent of Mum and Dad.
That’s exactly what a judicial review being launched is trying to prevent, by stopping children from being allowed to transition while still of school age.
A High Court action against the NHS seeks to force a change of rules at adult gender clinics that would make it compulsory for people with conditions such as autism to be assessed by specialists before being given irreversible treatments.
The case is being brought by two mothers, Anna Castle and a second claimant, Ms C, who wishes to remain anonymous.
They both fear that their “vulnerable” daughters, Rosa and Grace (both names changed), will be fast-tracked into hormonal and surgical interventions before their underlying mental health issues have been properly explored.
The women felt compelled to launch their legal battle against NHS England — which sets the regulations for gender services — on behalf of the many parents who are experiencing the same heartbreak as them.
Both mothers have teenage daughters with what are known as “neurodiverse” conditions — namely attention hyperactivity deficit disorder (ADHD) and a form of autism known as Asperger’s Syndrome.
Neither Rosa (age 17) nor Grace (age 16) had ever shown any sign of wanting to change sex while growing up, but as they each entered puberty and the UK went into the first Covid lockdown in early 2020, they both shocked their mothers by announcing they wanted to be boys.
During lockdown, both girls had spent endless hours online engaging with new friendship groups, into which they were indoctrinated.
‘School made it worse’
But the indoctrination was also happening at school, behind the parents’ backs.
Ms C says Grace’s school was validating her identity, which she hadn’t realised.
She explains: “When she was in Year Nine, there were 30 girls in her year questioning their gender.
In short, as Ms C puts it, “school made things worse”.
The girls’ mothers were at a loss as to what they should do, but came to the same conclusion — that safeguarding was called for to protect their daughters from rushing into taking powerful hormones and making irreversible physical changes they might later regret.
Tragically, both women have now effectively lost contact with their beloved daughters.
They have also been cut out of all medical discussions pertaining to their children — who, if not already referred to adult gender services, soon will be.
Anna said that while her daughter Rosa grew up loving activities that were not stereotypically feminine, she never spoke about wanting to be a boy.
Rosa was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of six — which leaves her more vulnerable because it makes her highly impulsive.
Within the space of just a few months, Rosa went from telling her mum she was lesbian, to mentioning her new “non-binary” friends, to announcing she was a boy.
“I had no idea what to do,” says Anna, “so I just said, ‘OK’ and began to learn as much as I could about gender issues.”
When her daughter demanded a binder to flatten her chest, Anna, who was aware that binders can cause health risks, simply said she’d look into it, as a way of buying some time.
Next, Rosa demanded her mother address her using “he/him” pronouns.
“I couldn’t bring myself to say this so I compromised with “they”.”
Ms C realises now that she was confusing gender identity with gay rights, which she fully supports.
But in 2021, when Keira Bell sued the Tavistock children’s gender clinic for failing to adequately challenge her decision to transition at 16, Ms C says: “This made me think again.
“Seeing her face and hearing her voice and reading about what had happened, I understood why people were questioning gender trends.”
Rosa, whose ADHD had made friendships a struggle for her, clung to her new online friends and this tied her into gender ideology.
When Anna began raising concerns about the gender change, the family relationship suffered badly.
Her daughter said she was planning to have a double mastectomy and also a phalloplasty — a risky operation that grafts a pseudo-penis using skin from the arm, leg, or stomach.
And even though she was just 17, she could opt for surgery within a year because the Tavistock clinic (where she had been on the waiting list for three years, without ever being assessed) had referred her to adult gender services.
The story of the second claimant, referred to in the upcoming court action as “Ms C”, is also heartbreaking.
Grace’s mother tells me she has only been able to keep going because she is in a parents’ support group.
“I will do anything I can to protect her from harm, and will never give up fighting for her.”
Ms C says she and Grace had once been “inseparable”.
She had raised her daughter alone, having separated from Grace’s father when her girl was two years old, although Grace did have contact with him.
She describes Grace as being very academically bright and “gifted” though, like Rosa, she struggled to make friends, and had no interest in boys.
When she was 13, Grace told her mother she was a lesbian.
‘No safeguards’
Following the same pattern as Rosa, during the first Covid lockdown Grace announced that she had been “born in the wrong body”.
Her mother says: “She had never shown any sign of that, and I could not recognise this person telling me this.
I told her ‘I am not an expert in this, but I will find somebody who is. Maybe you could talk about it?’ — then I set about finding a therapist.”
The private therapist she went to advised that Grace might well have autistic traits, and her daughter was indeed subsequently diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.
When Ms C told Grace there was an explanation for her social problems, “she was so relieved and hugged me, telling me she was so pleased to know why she didn’t fit in.”
Her mother had hoped that with this explanation, the gender issue might subside but instead it got worse.
Her daughter too began asking for chest binders, and to be referred to as he or him.
In August 2021 matters got worse.
Grace’s father was willing to affirm her as a boy.
Returning from a stay with him, she accused her mother of being “transphobic” and called her father to immediately pick her up.
Their rift worsened when her daughter discovered Ms C had complained about her school allowing Grace to use male pronouns.
“Then I had confirmation from the GP that her dad had referred her to the Tavistock behind my back, and nobody told me.
“After she found out I had complained she completely cut contact with me,” she says, weeping.
Ms C believes her daughter, who has been bullied at school for being a lesbian and harassed by boys, “needs help more than medicalisation”.
She is well aware that the adult service “is affirmation only and has no safeguards for vulnerable adults or psychological assessment of suitability to transition”.
Nevertheless, a third party has informed Ms C that Grace will be referred to adult services as soon as she turns 17 (in the next few days), in hope of undergoing breast removal surgery.
NHS England is consulting on whether the upper age limit for children’s gender services should be lowered by one year to 16.
This would mean that in future all young people from age 17 will be referred to adult gender services.
But the worry is that these young adults will not benefit from the same “holistic” approach — focused on psychological treatments rather than medical — set to be adopted by an overhauled children’s gender service on the recommendations of a respected senior paediatrician.
In the case of youngsters with conditions such as autism and ADHD, it is even more crucial to explore potential problems alongside psychologists and counsellors.
Mum Anna said: “The authorities must step in now to make sure these young people are protected before it’s too late.”
“It’s a medical scandal and needs to be exposed for what it is.”