My narcissistic mother-in-law is ruining my marriage
DEAR DEIDRE: Although I’m happily married, my narcissistic mother-in-law is so difficult she’s now coming between me and my husband.
She has never liked me but, since we had our first child, three years ago, she’s become increasingly nasty.
I’m 38 and my husband is 40. My mother-in-law is 68.
She doesn’t respect our boundaries. For example, I asked her not to put pictures of our son online, but she ignored me.
My husband says she’s got a ‘strong personality’ and we should just tolerate her for a quiet life.
But I can’t. I’ve said I no longer want to see her and I won’t take our child to her house.
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It’s causing arguments with my husband. He wants a normal family, with Sunday lunches at his parents, but I just can’t tolerate having her in my life.
Now she’s invited my husband and son to visit her. I’ve said I don’t want my son to go if I’m not welcome.
She’s made it clear she doesn’t want a relationship with me and has bad-mouthed me to my husband and other people.
She’s even blocked me from her phone and social media.
What should I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable you don’t want to see your toxic mother-in-law.
But it’s not fair to deny your son any type of relationship with his grandparents.
Perhaps you should allow your husband – who is stuck in the middle – to take him there.
Make it clear to him that you won’t tolerate her bad-mouthing you in front of your son.
It may be helpful to get advice from Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, tel 0808 800).
You can also get support from Stand Alone (standalone.org.uk) who help people estranged from a family member.