Telltale signs of porn addiction revealed by experts after huge surge in x-rated addicts
THINK addiction and it tends to be alcoholism, smoking, drugs or gambling that most likely come to mind.
But pornography is fast stealing a march on these habits.
Online searches for “porn addiction” are rising, surpassing searches for alcohol addiction by nearly two and a half times.
That is the warning from Martin Preston, founder of Delamere, the UK’s only purpose-built addiction rehab clinic.
He tells Sun Health: “We think this is a true reflection [of addiction].
“One would imagine the information that they’re seeking is because they recognise the consequences of their behaviour are beginning to catch up with them and they want to make changes.”
Mr Preston attributes a rise in porn addiction to the “spike” in consumption during the Covid pandemic, which is well documented in research.
Paracelsus Recovery, which runs clinics in London and Zurich, estimates half of men and a quarter of women suffer from “problematic” levels of porn use.
It comes as MPs last month warned that young people are too often turning to it to learn about intimacy because regular sex education is failing them.
Half of children have been exposed to porn by the age of 13, and ten per cent by as young as nine, the Children’s Commissioner for England has warned.
Sally Land, The Sun’s Agony Aunt, told Sun Health: “Every week at least two readers write in because they are concerned about pornography.
“Many others haven’t put two and two together that pornography addiction was the gateway to their sex addiction issues or that their erectile dysfunction, dissatisfaction or disinterest in real-life sex is caused by this dependence.
“And it’s not just men, I’ve had several women ask for advice on how they can kick the highly addictive habit.”
Psychotherapist Dr Paula Hall, who set up The Laurel Centre for sex and porn addiction, says porn addiction is driven not by sexual gratification but by the release of dopamine — the “feel good” chemical — into the brain.
She says: “If your primary reason for wanting to watch is because, frankly, you’re feeling horny, you’re probably going to watch for ten to 30 minutes and are seeking sexual satisfaction.
“Somebody with porn addiction is not particularly horny.
“They’re escaping something else — they’re bored, feeling lonely or stressed out at work.
“They’re probably going to watch porn for hours on end and postpone orgasm because it is the seeking, searching and distraction around porn that is giving them the reward, not the orgasm.”
Experts prefer not to use an hours-per-day threshold to diagnose porn addiction.
They say consumption is considered problematic if it interferes with daily life.
Dr Hall adds: “If it’s fun and not causing any problems in your life, it’s probably not an addiction.
“But for someone who has developed an addiction, it’s not fun any more.
“People know in their heart of hearts, ‘I need to get a grip, and I can’t’. That’s when it has become a problem.”
It impacts around 70 per cent of relationships, a survey of people with porn addiction by Dr Hall revealed.
Porn-induced erectile dysfunction occurs when addicts fail to find real-life sex as stimulating as the images they are looking at.
The consequences can be really serious — but they can also take quite a long time to catch up with people
Martin Preston, founder of Delamere
The shame associated with porn addiction and its consequences can also trigger a vicious cycle.
Mr Preston says: “We’ve seen people who become extremely isolated and withdrawn from life.
“The consequences can be really serious — but they can also take quite a long time to catch up with people.”
As tolerance increases, addicts may take greater risks to achieve the same high, such as using chat sites or webcam services.
Mr Preston advises that if self-moderation of porn consumption does not work, professional help should be considered.
Treatment typically involves breaking the cycle and addressing the root causes that drive this behaviour.
An NHS GP may offer support, such as a referral to a counselling waiting list or free support group such as Sex Addicts Anonymous, but specific treatment clinics for porn addiction are scarce.
But abstinence is not possible, as it is with other addictions. One can’t avoid sex.
Dr Hall, who designed a 60-day online therapy programme, Pivotal
Recovery, costing £75, says: “It’s, ‘How do I enjoy my sexuality in a way that’s not going to cause problems in my life?’”
‘An escape from reality when I was furloughed’
IAN* remembers his use of porn getting out of control when he was furloughed during the Covid pandemic.
The 34-year-old, says: “It was like the go-ahead from the Government to do whatever. I could be watching porn from 10am-3pm, when my wife got home from work.
“It was an escape from reality more than sexual gratification, but obviously there was an element of that about it.”
Ian’s habit escalated to talking to other women through “sexting, exchanging photos and videos, sometimes phone calls and voice notes”.
Ian, from the East Midlands, recalls: “I’d try to walk away from it, having a week or month off.
“I’d delete all of my accounts. But I would end up going back.
“I felt like I was at the bottom of the pit and just couldn’t figure out how to get out of it.
“I didn’t even attempt to get out, I just wallowed in it.”
When Ian’s wife found incriminating messages on his phone, he finally felt able to admit his secret.
Treatment at the Delamere addiction clinic in June 2020 helped him heal from childhood experiences which caused shame around his sexuality.
He says: “Addiction is ultimately a survival mechanism, a trauma response.
“The solution is always the same – connecting with yourself, accepting who you are.”
*Name has been changed.