My husband sexted his ex – can we rebuild trust?
DEAR DEIDRE: Ever since I caught my husband sexting his ex, I am trying hard to trust him again – but every time I see him on his phone I feel sick.
He said he did it because he felt lonely and left out of our family.
We’re both 37 and have been together for eight years. We have two young children.
A couple of months ago, I noticed that he was spending a lot of time messaging someone.
He said it was work stuff, but I didn’t believe him as he kept smiling naughtily to himself.
I know his password so one day while he was in the garage, I sneaked a look. I saw that he and his ex-girlfriend, who he lived with for two years, had been sexting.
They were both reminiscing about their sexual experiences and saying how much they would like to repeat them.
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I burst into tears and confronted him. He said he felt miserable because I spent all my time with the kids and we rarely have sex any more.
He promised he would stop and we agreed to make more effort with our marriage. But I can’t trust him any more. Just seeing him on his phone makes me tearful and anxious.
I don’t know how to move forward.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Having kids does inevitably changes a relationship.
Your husband should have told you he was unhappy, rather than just looking for fulfilment elsewhere.
Trust takes time to rebuild.
My support pack, Looking After Your Relation-ship, should help.
If things do not improve, consider couple counselling.
Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org) for help finding a qualified counsellor.