My wife hasn’t been interested in me since she got a new job
DEAR DEIDRE: Since my wife started her new job, I have felt like she is no longer interested in me.
She has become less talkative and affectionate. As for our sex life, it is now non-existent. I’m 36 and she’s 34.
We’ve been married for six years. When we met, she wasn’t that focused on her career. We spent a lot of time together, going out to gigs and the cinema or for meals.
We had sex several times a week, held hands and kissed when we went out.
That all changed last year, when she got a new job at a charity, with a lot of responsibility. Within weeks, she could talk about little else. She worked until late and often on weekends.
She was always too tired for sex and, if I tried to be affectionate, she pushed me away.
If I try talking to her about this, we end up arguing. She says I’m too needy and should be supportive.
We are growing further apart. I don’t even feel like she loves me any more.
What can I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your wife is totally absorbed by her job – and also stressed out, which may be why she has gone off sex.
It is likely she has no idea how unhappy you are, or that you are doubting her love for you.
Please address this now before things get worse.
Rather than criticising her for working too much, which will make her defensive, say you are worried she is stressed and want to help.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help. Ask if she can spare a weekend, so you can go away to reconnect.
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