My friend with benefits picks me up and drops me as he pleases
DEAR DEIDRE: MY friend-with-benefits dumped me because his new girlfriend was jealous of me, then expected to pick up with me when they split.
When I said no, he told me our friendship was over. I feel really hurt.
I’m 26 and he is 27. We met at university and had a brief relationship before deciding to be just mates.
However, we ended up in bed a number of times, and agreed to be “friends with benefits”. It suited us both.
Last year, he met a woman he said he’d really fallen for. I was happy for him. But his new girlfriend was incredibly jealous of me.
She told him he couldn’t be mates with me as we had history. After that, he didn’t speak to me for six months.
When they split he came back, like nothing had happened, assuming we’d pick up our arrangement.
I said no and that I felt disrespected, expecting him to apologise. Instead, he said our friendship was over and told me to delete his number.
I cared about him and I feel used. How do I move on?
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DEIDRE SAYS: While you agreed to a friendship with casual sex, you didn’t agree to being picked up and put down whenever he wanted.
Try talking to him and explaining how important the friendship was to you. If he can’t see that you’re worth more then perhaps it’s better not to be friends.
My support pack, When Friends Fall Out, might help you to deal with this.
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